It is a long time –I had no
feelings for me. Or I do not have the fun of enjoying inside me. These days – life is
complete – with family, kids, and friends. Dreaming of life like now in the
mountain. I climb up the mountain and see the white and pure beauty and a reflection
of light that makes crimson evening. I see everything is there – for me. Perhaps
this is a reward of my hard-work of many years. Seems if the deepest sight of
mind, sometimes – still I remember the steps of the ladder I climbed. Sometimes a few
lonely evening reminds me – the joy of alone in a wide sea of people.
Sometimes – I dream of that evening – I was seating in a
cottage – opened laptop – could not set my mind to do anything. I went to the cinema – could not like it. I went to take some soup – the whole cup of soup was
slipped off and made me wet in a dark cold evening. I was feeling cold; I was
enjoying the cold in the dark mountain in my rented cottage.
I was alone in an isolated cottage for three days – with a
large and wide view of a valley with patches of clouds at Shimla. It was a log
cabin with a patio and heaterer. I passed the last few days of December 2001 to see
snowfall and enjoy cold and snowy days at Shimla.
After 11 years and
traveling to many countries in the world – my heart goes back to that evening in
cold, snowy log cabin – when I was looking at a pond of stars below and snowy the peak of mountains looked semi-dark, pale but something stronger.
This must be a way to rescue me. When I feel tired – I just
remember that evening – there is nothing that can be as lonely as it was 11 years
back. Today, I am trying to remember that evening – with the lonely, darkish sky.
